Today, Rachel is still in Children’s, but her low end heart rate has dropped since being admitted. The goal is a low end heart rate of 48, and most patients, if they comply with the treatment by eating all of the meals, and following other treatment recommendations, will improve their heart rate by one beat…… Continue reading mid-story update
Two days ago, Children’s Hospital’s ER in Seattle called with a request to treat Rachel. Rachel has been at a treatment facility in Seattle since last August to learn coping mechanisms for the several different diagnoses, including self-harming behaviors. For the past couple of months, Rachel hasn’t been eating much. In the last month or…… Continue reading currently . . .
I sat in the waiting room in the pediatric wing of the hospital, clutching a thin file of papers. My thick, leather-bound journal jammed into my purse, stuffed with a pen inside. I steadied my stainless travel coffee cup on my knee, trying to open the top. I knew we were going to wait forever,…… Continue reading the fight
Once Rachel stabilized, she was transferred to the children’s wing. My stomach filled with knots knowing the next piece we were going to have to endure, in part because we had already been through it so many times. So, I did what any almost-lawyer would do: I talked to a lawyer, and prepared myself for…… Continue reading yesterday i cried, today i yell
If you are just joining me on this journey, this blog is a processing tool for a mother raising a child with a serious mental illness, the hallmark symptoms of which include suicidal and para-suicidal behaviors (acts that may be fatal, but are not “completed” suicides), self-harm, self-mutilation, disruptive relationships, depression, anxiety, and other issues.…… Continue reading girl, interrupted . . . and how
It’s just as hard to know what to say to someone in a crisis as it is to be the person in crisis trying to figure out how to respond. I can’t tell people this is not the first time we’ve been through this, this episode is just the worst one. Every time has been different. Every method has been different.
“I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing Just prayed to a God that I don’t believe in ‘Cause I got time while she got freedom ‘Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even Her best days were some of my worst . . . While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping ‘Cause…… Continue reading breakeven